Bieber fever is more infectious than measles, a new study
suggests.
The study found that the hysteria over singer Justin Bieber
has the ability to spread effortlessly to children all over the world, with no
signs of stopping.
The work was conducted by University of Ottawa masters
student Valerie Tweedle and her professor, Robert J. Smith? (he added the
question mark to separate himself from all the other Bob Smiths out there).
Tweedle and the questionable (heh) professor used formulas to predict the
spread of diseases and found that Bieber fever is the most contagious modern
disease.
Symptoms of Bieber fever include uncontrollable crying
and/or screaming, excessive purchasing of memorabilia, distraction from
everyday life and making poor life choices, like copying Bieber’s famous
side-swept hairstyle.
The researchers say that the disease has to ability to
infect and re-infect a generation of children — and that it won’t stop any time
soon.
Tweedle and Smith? say that the only predictable end to the
Fever would be the Lindsay Lohan effect, or sustained negative publicity.
“Through constant exposure, Bieber fever has incubated and
spread. Millions are already infected, with more at risk every day. Action is
urgently needed,” the authors say.
Despite the overdramatics, the authors say they recognize
that Bieber fever isn’t an actual disease.
“Obviously it’s not formally a disease, but it has the
hallmarks of a disease,” Smith? says about The Fever. “And so it behaves the
way a disease would.”
During a recent trip to a friend’s elementary school
classroom, Smith? found that all but one of the nine-year-old students liked
Bieber. Similarly, while on a trip to Senegal to teach students from all over
Africa, he found that all students knew Bieber there as well.
“We do all have this common language now,” Smith? says. “We
all speak Bieber.”
Source: The National Post
